A New Perspective on Forgiveness

To forgive or not to forgive? That is the question. 

Life is hard. And awkward. Sometimes, when life gives you an awkward situation, you want to ignore it. You want to run away. When someone is hurtful, you may just want to hold grudges. That's the easy way out, right?

Wrong. 

That is not The Lord's way. He wants us to forgive. 

I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. -D&C 64:10

"But that's so hard, it's so much easier to just ignore them!" 

Life is hard. But you're tough, and you can do hard things! When someone is mean to you, acts selfish, treats you poorly, maybe even holds a grudge against you, do what the Savior would do. He lived His whole entire life dealing with imperfect people treating Him like utter garbage. What did He do? He loved them. Simple as that. He served them, He loved them, He prayed for them, He cared for them. It's so simple, yet it's hardly ever seen. Love can be so easily given, but it's more often taken rather than given. 

When you hold a grudge or act bitter towards someone or something, it may seem easy at first, but in the long run, that's what hurts you the most. You hold onto the anger and sadness and it the guilt just beasts you away. When you forgive and forget, the relief is almost instantaneous. 

Story time. 

My oldest brother dated a girl all throughout high school. They planned to get married when he returned from his mission. We all fell in love with her family and became good friends. Everything was going well until the last couple months of his mission. Little did we know that she had found someone else and planned to marry him. She didn't tell my brother until he got home from his mission. That was rough, especially on me. I had lost the only girl that I had ever felt a close older sister bond with. I was bitter. I resented her. I couldn't stand to see their wedding pictures when she married the boy that stole her from my brother. I was so upset. It's been a few months since their wedding, and today I went to a friend's mission farewell. Well, lo and behold, guess who was sitting behind me? Yep. The girl who betrayed me. I couldn't believe it. Her father-in-law was the stake president and lived in the ward I was attending. My heart started racing and I was careful as to not turn around. Then I felt hypocritical. I had just listened to my good friend give a great talk about the Savior and the healing power of the Atonement and here I was resenting this girl for following her heart. What the heck am I doing?! I needed some humility, that's for sure. So I resolved to go talk to her after sacrament meeting was over. I would go up to her and give her a hug and tell her hello. That's it. Simple as that. Or maybe not as simple as I thought. The meeting went way over time, with the last speaker, her father-in-law, ending 20 minutes later than usual and singing all 4 verses of Come, Come Ye Saints, I felt like I would sit there forever. But, alas, the closing prayer ended with an Amen and I stood up to venture over to the girl who seemed to be my enemy. I could feel the tears rushing to my eyes before she even noticed me. She was turned around talking to someone so I awkwardly tapped her arm. Before I knew what I was doing, I pulled her up into a hug. I stared tearing up big time as she realized what was happening. I willed the tears to stay put so I wouldn't ruin my makeup (I had more places to go, more people to see!) and I started talking to her and her husband. I honestly don't even know what the heck I said, all I know is that she probably thought something was wrong with me. We talked for a little bit and I made sure she knew I was okay and I rushed off to make sure my makeup wasn't horrendous. With my eyes still red, I made my way to my missionary-to-be friend, mingled for a little bit, and left for another farewell. All I know for sure is that now I feel relieved. I feel free. I don't resent her. I've learned to let go what I can't change. I was only hurting myself by avoiding her. Even my own brother, the boy whose heart she broke, had forgiven her and moved on. I can even friend her on Facebook again! 

I know that the Savior is so incredibly happy that I was able to move past my fears and doubts and fully forgiven another child of God. I don't know all of the circumstances that led up to that point, but it's definitely not my place to hold a grudge against her, or anyone for that matter. 

I feel happy knowing that I have shown forgiveness even when I thought forgiveness wasn't deserved. Heavenly Father wants peace between His children, and I want to work hard to keep that peace between me and as many people as I can. 

Love,

Emmalee

Misfit

When someone is sad or has hurt feelings, the nice thing to do would be to comfort them. 

Lately I've had a lot of hurt feelings. Maybe I'm being too sensitive, but it happens. And I'm sick of everyone retaliating to my hurt feelings with hatred and harsh words. 

It just sucks. 

I can't really find a place to get solace from this darkness. I feel like these hurt feelings consume me and I'm slipping. Slipping from what? I don't know. Happiness? I definitely don't feel as happy as I used to. I cry a lot. Ellyse is nice to me, but I don't think she understands really. I've tried to bring up some problems I've had and she doesn't really get it. My parents aren't much help. I feel like I can't really talk to them fully about how I feel. Riley helps sometimes, but again, he doesn't totally understand. 

I'm feeling really out of place in my ward, especially young women's. I just do not fit in anywhere. There's the girls that just talk and text the whole time, then there's some girls who are nice and I'm friends with, but they have their own friends in young women's. Then there's me. I don't fit in anywhere. I'm a new person in this ward and everyone's already settled and they don't want change. Only a little while longer until I can go to Relief Society. 

For now, I guess I'll just push through the hard days full of tears, and rejoice in the happy days. I'll keep looking for a good resting place. 

Fixing the Broken Pieces

So, I have this friend. A couple years ago, his friendship meant more than the world to me. I would've done anything for him. And then, something happened. Our friendship fell apart and my heart was torn into pieces. It took me a long time to really let him leave my mind and feel at peace. About 3 months ago, he reached out to me and apologized. It was so awesome to know that he didn't resent me anymore.

For the past couple of weeks, I kept having this thought that I needed to get together with my friend and just talk. I didn't know how exactly I would go about it, but I wanted to do it. I figured I would just text him, but that's pretty lame. I'd rather ask in person. He got his mission call a while ago and his farewell was this past Sunday. At first, I was positive I wasn't going to go. I still had some bitter feelings and wasn't prepared to face him. After a little thinking, I realized that this would be the perfect opportunity to talk to him. So I went. I brought another friend for some moral support, and I was really nervous. Like, really nervous. I hadn't talked with him face to face in over a year. But I went for it! I took the risk and made the leap of faith. I walked up to him afterwards and told him that his talk was great, which it totally was, and that I'm proud of him. And then I told him that I wanted to get together and talk. He agreed! Whew. So now to actually do it!

We ended up going to get ice cream at Freddy's and talking just like I wanted to. It was so great. We didn't talk about our past troubles together, we just talked about school and life after school et cetera. It was so great. Although, before I picked him up, I was terrified. I was even second guessing myself and debating going back home and never talking to him again. Obviously I didn't go through with it. I still talked to him even though I was shaking the whole time. (It didn't help that we were eating ice cream on a not-very-hot Arizona day) Hopefully he didn't notice. 

After I went home, I was surprised at how happy I was to finally have closure on the situation. It's so nice to have him back in my life. He's such a great guy and I'm so happy to be able to talk to him again with no hard feelings in the way. 

Broken friendships suck and I am so relieved to be able to fix at least one. Caleb was once my best friend and although he isn't my best friend again, I still consider us pretty good friends. Our friendship isn't perfect, but it's a good start. There will always be a small awkward bubble around because of what's happened between us, but it's easy to overlook. 

My mom once told me that when a glass cup breaks, the broken pieces that are still sharp can be put back together pretty well with few cracks that aren't very noticeable. If you wait a while to fix it, the pieces will become dull and the cup won't ever be perfect like it was before, even if the pieces are put back. I know that mine and Caleb's friendship has holes in it, but at least it's fixed. And that makes me happy. 

Love,

Emmalee

Love At Home

1. 1. There is beauty all around.
   When there's love at home;
   There is joy in ev'ry sound
   When there's love at home.
   Peace and plenty here abide,
   Smiling sweet on ev'ry side.
   Time doth softly, sweetly glide
   When there's love at home.
   Love at home, love at home;
   Time doth softly, sweetly glide
   When there's love at home.
2. 2. In the cottage there is joy
   When there's love at home;
   Hate and envy ne'er annoy
   When there's love at home.
   Roses bloom beneath our feet;
   All the earth's a garden sweet,
   Making life a bliss complete
   When there's love at home.
   Love at home, love at home;
   Making life a bliss complete
   When there's love at home.
3. 3. Kindly heaven smiles above
   When there's love at home;
   All the world is filled with love
   When there's love at home.
   Sweeter sings the brooklet by;
   Brighter beams the azure sky.
   Oh, there's One who smiles on high
   When there's love at home.
   Love at home, love at home;
   Oh, there's One who smiles on high
   When there's love at home.

This song tells you the promises you receive when there's love at home, but it doesn't tell you how to have love at home.

So, what do you do when there isn't love at home? 

I don't know.

Lately I've had a hard time trying to connect with my siblings. I thought it would be easier with Jordan home from his mission and Jacob married, but it's not. Not to mention the relationship I crave to have with my sister-in-law. I just feel like all three of them treat me as if I'm the annoying younger sister I was 5 years ago. But that's not me anymore. I can handle mature conversations. I like to sit around and talk with the adults. I want to be invited to hang out with them. But when I ask to do anything with them, I get knocked down lower and lower with every time I try. 

I want to love my family deeper. I so badly crave the family relationship I see in other families. I want to be able to trust my brothers with my feelings instead of getting stepped on. I want to sit down and have fun with my parents and my siblings. I don't want to see my younger siblings as annoying. 

I want to try harder. I'm not the peacemaker in the family, but I try. I try to have a relationship with my younger siblings, but most of the time, they just push me around. I turn to my friends more than I should to escape the contentious feelings in my home, leaving my family to feel abandoned. 

Right now, it's hard. But I know that it will all work out. Just because I'm having a hard time building relationships doesn't mean that my siblings are. My older brothers have a great bond together. Just because my interactions with my younger siblings usually end in some sort of fight doesn't mean that it will be like that forever. Even though we struggle to keep the Spirit in our home on Sundays doesn't mean that my younger siblings will never have a spiritually uplifting Sabbath Day. 

I worry about my family and I pray for them. As long as I keep trying and living righteously, I know that everything will work out. Not now, but in the end. Eternally, we will be happy. Until then, try your hardest and be your best.

Love,

Emmalee

My Hawsome Friend

I have this friend.

Her name is Ellyse Haws.

She is so nice, generous, kind, sweet, everything I could ever ask for in a friend.

And she thinks I'm cool! That's a plus.

She's the 2nd best in the state in cosmetology; she's a wizard with hair.

We're a dynamic duo. I'm a spontaneous ball of energy and who-knows-what and she is a sassy, but tidy, ball of fun.

She has taught me how to love people and how to serve people.

She loves me because I am me.

I can tell her anything and she will listen. She helps me through the hard times.

She loves the Lord and loves going to the Temple with me.

She is adorable and the epitome of fabulous.

She is so wonderful.

And I love having her as my best friend. <3

I <3 you, Ellyse!

Love,

Emmalee

P.S. You can find her here: ellyseleighannhaws.blogspot.com

My Fight with Self-Esteem

Middle school is hard on a teenage girl. The urge to feel pretty and loved overtakes the urge to be smart about decisions. I didn't make too many stupid decisions in junior high, but I've definitely had my bouts with my self-esteem. Once I hit high school, I tried so hard to feel good about myself. Freshman year wasn't very kind to me. Sophomore year helped me come out of my shell and realize my true self. Junior year was fantastic. I have never felt better about myself.

A girl's self-esteem is attacked hardcore when she's vulnerable and naive and young. And still when she's older. But the fight is so hard. For the most part, I haven't ever struggled huge with my self worth. There was this one time in middle school when I was so down, I thought about what other people's lives would be without me. But I chickened out of suicidal thoughts, thankfully. I knew that my family loved me and would miss me. I am so grateful for young women leaders and friends and my mom for encouraging me to feel beautiful.

I've worn glasses since I was 6 years old, and I got contacts the summer before 8th grade. I've gone back and forth between contacts and glasses since then. This past school year I've worn mainly glasses, hiding my face. I would put on mascara sometimes to feel pretty. But last week, I went to the optometrist and refilled on contacts. As soon as I put the new contacts I realized that I am very flawed, especially in the facial region. I wanted to hide behind my big glasses immediately. I had pimples that my glasses would've hidden from the world. My eyelashes were short and stubby. My eyebrows were practically uneven and maybe even turning into a uni brow. My face was chubby. I had a glasses tan. I was insecure and didn't want the world to see my face. I was embarrassed. But what was I supposed to do at the eye doctor's office? I had to wait til I got home to do anything. 

It doesn't get better unless you decide yourself.

I have decided that I want to feel beautiful about myself, not just pretty. I know that I am special. I know that I am beautiful. I know that I have potential. I know that I am unique. I know that I am a daughter of God. 

But I feel beautiful because I know how to feel beautiful. I have found the right friends that treat me well. I try not to compare myself to other "prettier" girls, because I guarantee, they are insecure, too. Comparison is the thief of joy. It's hard some days, but only because I forget. I forget how loved I am and I forget how beautiful I can feel if I try. 

Love who you are. Love where you are. And be the person you were meant to be.

Love,
Emmalee

P.S. I think you are beautiful.

Changes

Change is good, right?

It definitely doesn't feel like that right now.

I have lived in Castlegate for the past 10 years. I grew up with Brother Eldredge as my primary teacher and Brother and Sister Fire as my very first sunday school teachers after primary. I became more social with Brother Miller's "lessons" and I learned how to be myself with Sister Jones' young women lessons. I grew to love the members of the ward as my own family. Bishop Oakes was my first amazing bishop that I remember loving to pieces, and still do. Bishop White helped me through my teenage years. In the past 10 months, I have loved and served my fellow young women and leaders. I have sung multiple duets, quartets, and even a couple solos. The Castlegate ward was the first to hear me sing in front of an audience. They helped me get over my stage-fright and learn how to sing. They watched me grow.

And now it's all new.

New faces, new bishop, new young women, new leaders, new everything. And I miss good ole Castlegate. I went to my new ward, Sierra Vista, for the 1st time today. Sacrament was nice. Sunday School was alright. Young Women's broke my heart. Not because it was horrible, it was actually pretty great. I just missed my ward terribly. I miss feeling comfortable with my comments. I miss chatting with Maelyn and getting in trouble. I miss writing Jalen little notes on her paper. I miss seeing my mom teach her amazing lessons. I miss giving Sister Jones huge hugs whenever I saw her. I miss Brother Haws' beautiful, amazing prelude music.

So as I cry because I don't want things to change, I know I need to look for opportunities to serve new people. But I just want a friend. A friend as good as Ellyse. A friend who will talk to me forever. A friend who isn't turning 18 on Wednesday. A friend who will be there in my new ward to go to Sunday school and Young Women's with me. But making friends isn't one-sided. I know I should be looking for friends. I just want my old CG fam back.

But change is good.

I welcome my new ward with open arms and an open heart. It will take a little bit to get used to it, and all will be well in the end. I just need to stick it out and endure for a little bit.

The Lord works in mysterious ways. I have faith that He will make this new change into something amazing.

I'll keep singing. I'll keep looking for opportunities to serve. I'll also keep looking for my old ward family in the halls. They're right around the corner, they're not gone forever. I have been so blessed with an amazing ward. Now it's time for my family and I to bless this ward.

See ya around, Castlegate ward.

Hello, Sierra Vista ward!

Good things to come, hopefully!

Love,
Emmalee

Serve, Love, Repeat

I heard once in a talk that if you want to love someone, serve them. There is no way you can't not love someone if you're serving them.

I struggle with my friends. All the time. I try so hard to love them and keep the wonderful friendship we have. Sometimes I just want to give up. I even started giving up on some friendships. Not a good idea. One of my friends once said, "I don't believe in throwing away friendships. You fix them, not throw them away." 

I came to the realization that this is NOT something I should be doing, throwing away friendships. I knew that if I wanted to love my friends again, I needed to serve them. So I started thinking of ways to serve. Getting them flowers, little things here and there. As I was preparing little gifts to give them, I grew to love my friends SO MUCH. I can't even explain it. I know that the love I felt came straight from Heavenly Father. He wanted me to feel the love He as for all of us. 

I love my friends. I'm still struggling with letting things go, and it's hard. But I know I can do it through serving. Nothing else matters when you're serving.

"When ye are in the service of your fellow being, ye are only in the service of your God." Mosiah 2:17

Serve, Love, Repeat.

Love,
Emmalee

Man's Extremity is God's Opportunity

Life has its ups and downs. Sometimes it feels like its more down than up. Today, church was amazing. We had stake conference and Elder Neil L. Anderson from the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles was there. I shook his hand afterwards. Super cool! The speakers focused more on the temple and its blessings. I got home and I just felt... bombarded. Alone, almost. I was confused and sad. I snapped at my family, and I didn't know how to explain my feelings. It sounds pathetic, I know. But I was down in the dumps, after listening to an Apostle of The Lord speak.

So, I prayed. That's always a good go-to. (The ideal go-to, actually)

After a heartfelt and sincere prayer, I started listening to a CES fireside talk by Jeffrey R. Holland, Lessons from Liberty Jail. (Click here to listen to the talk) We had reviewed some of it in Seminary and I wanted to listen to the full thing. SO worth it. Here are the Lessons we learn from Liberty Jail:

1. Everyone Faces Trying Times.

Sometimes life just seems perfect. Everything is ideal and you just want it to stay because it seems perfect. Then something happens. Whether that 'something' is an actual event that occurs that forces change, or your own feelings. There have been many times, such as what I expressed in the 1st paragraph, that I just feel so down and alone. I have to change somehow, whether that is becoming more spiritual or studying my scriptures more and just talking it out with someone. It happens. Life is never, EVER perfect.

Everyone has tough times, you just need to know where to turn during those tough times.

"If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren. . .above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than He?" D&C 122:5-8

Man's extremity is God's opportunity. Let God mold you into what He needs you to be, especially during times of trial.

2. Even the Worthy Will Suffer

Just because you are good and righteous, doesn't mean God will only bless you with the very best. You will have trials, no matter how you act. You may have worse consequences if you aren't righteous, in fact. Just remember to be humble. Don't be caught in the pride cycle.

3. Remain Calm, Patient, Charitable, and Forgiving

It is vital to maintain peace through a trial. It will not only strengthen your faith, but prepare you for what else is to come. The same goes for charity. If you are charitable and forgiving during hard times, it will benefit you so immensely and prepare you for the future. And of course, patience is a virtue. I think everyone takes that for granted.

So, during sad times, or mad times, or depressing times, or just plain bad times, turn to the Savior. Remember what He can do for you. 

"Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever." D&C 122:9

Love, 

Emmalee

I Am Not Perfect

I scream. I yell. I cry. I hit. I whine. I antagonize. I annoy. I defy. I argue. I'm not perfect. So why try? 

Well, for starters, the Savior did not atone for all mankind for nothing. 

Don't let His amazing, genuine, eternal gift go to waste. Use it! 

3 Nephi 12:48. Be ye perfect as I am. 

I gets hard. You just want to crawl in a hole and cry because your feelings are hurt or someone said something mean. Is what you're facing really that important and big? Are your hardships really exceeding that of the Savior's? Because He can help. 

A wise seminary teacher once told me that EVERYTHING will fail you. Except the Savior and His Atonement. 

So, yea I'm sad. Yea my feelings are hurt because my mom won't let me go do what I want right now. Yea I'm mad my sister is acting like a little kid. Yea I'm mad that my brother cussed me out for turning off the Xbox in the middle of his game and not letting him play. Yea I'm sad my friends aren't acting like I want them to. Yea I'm sad I'm not getting my way. Yea I'm mad I have to go to graduation tonight to sing some lame songs with my crappy choir teacher. Yea I'm sad that my best friend has hurt feelings. Yea I'm sad because I wanted a burrito today and never got it. 

But does all of this even matter in the long run? 

Look to your Savior. Find peace in Him. Realize your true potential. Love all those around you. 

Love,
Emmalee 

The House of The Lord

On Monday, Ellyse texted me and told me to leave Wednesday free all day because she had a surprise for me. All she told me was to be ready by 8:30 am and wear church clothes because we were going to do baptisms for the dead at the temple. 

     -Side note: I love the temple. I go every week to do baptisms. 

So I'm ready and Ellyse comes to pick me up at 8:30 Wednesday morning and we go to the Gilbert temple to do baptisms. Nothing out of the ordinary, just like a normal temple trip. Afterwards, we went to Jamba Juice for breakfast. After this, we get onto the freeway and head towards Mesa. We turn onto 1st Avenue and BAM! there's the Mesa temple. We went in and did baptisms in the Mesa temple, too! Mesa schools aren't on spring break yet, so we were the only youth in there! One temple worker asked us if we were from Gilbert because we were on spring break and we said yes. Ellyse mentioned how we went to the Gilbert temple that morning and the worker asked if we were going to Phoenix as well. Ellyse said yes. Well there goes the surprise! I had suspected it, though. For lunch, we went to Sweet Cakes Cafe and then to Milano's Music Store to look around. Then came our long drive to the Phoenix temple. We went and took pictures in front of the temple, then went shopping while we waited for the baptistry to open. We didn't really shop as much as look around. Then came time to do baptisms! It was amazing, being the first time we had been inside the Phoenix temple after it was dedicated. I had gone to the open house, but Ellyse never had the chance, so it was really fun. We had time to kill so we went to Ellyse's grandparents house in Phoenix and ate dinner at Fajitas with them. Then we jammed out to Ingrid Michaelson the whole way home!

I am so grateful for an amazing friend like Ellyse to spend a whole day with me inside the House of The Lord. I love the temple, it's my home away from home. I love The Lord, and being inside His house makes me feel close to Him. 

Love,

Emmalee

P.S. Ellyse is so cool, check out her blog! She was my true inspiration for this blog. ellyseleighannhaws.blogspot.com

Forgive & Forget

On Sunday, we focused a lot on forgiveness. I went to another ward as well as my own to support a friend. In both wards, the talks were about forgiving. In young women's, we had a great discussion about how hard it is to forgive but also how important it is. The most important thing to do is to forgive yourself.

Christ atoned for us so that we could be forgiven by Heavenly Father. He forgives us, so we need to forgive ourselves.

He also forgives others, so we need to forgive everyone for what they've already been forgiven for.

Forgive & forget.

You're just hurting yourself by holding grudges against both yourself and others.

I can't express adequately how strongly I feel about forgiveness. It's easier to just forgive than to hold on to something petty for so long. Christ wants us to forgive so bad. Remember the price He paid so that you could make these decisions. Are you using His gift to its fullest potential?

Love,

Emmalee

Friendly Friends

I just love my friends. Every single one of them. They help me be better. A better example and a better person in general. THEY ARE SO COOL!!!! I don't thank them enough. I love the thought that I can turn to any one of them and they would support me in anything.

Something one of my very best friends has mentioned is the thought of "pre-mortal besties." It's totally true. Have you ever met someone and you thought "Man, this person is so cool! I totally want to be their friend"? Well, you were probably friends in the premortal life. I believe, without a doubt, that all of my friends were my very best friends before this life. They were sent to me at this time for a reason and they help me so much.

Well, I love you guys! Thank you so much! The next time you see a friend of yours, hug them. They deserve it.

Stay frosty!

Love,
Emmalee

Riley showing off his rarely-seen pearly whites! And the temple <3

We convinced Tyler to let us straighten his hair!

Winter Formal!

Zoey and I after our MCO concerts!

Kaylee and Emily and I at McDonalds after our Choir and Orchestra concerts!

Ellie, Emily and I! <3 One of my favorite pictures. I can't actually figure out how to fix the orientation.

Homecoming collage! So much fun.

Emily and Tyler!

When Ellyse came home from Europe!

Emily's surprise party!

My awesome surprise waffle party for my 16th birthday!

Andrew carried me to the door for my waffle party because my legs were sore from cross country practice. Such a gentleman.

2 out of the 4 caballo creed members. 

Look to Him

When I lose myself within the world,
He reaches out His hand to me.
When my days are full of dark and gloom,
He pulls me through it willingly.

Inspiring me to be like Him,
He whispers to my every thought.
It doesn't matter where I've been,
He helps me give all that I've got.

Within the tough times of life, He cares.
Within my trials, He comes and says:
"Remember, be grateful, Christlike and true.
And I always promise I won't forget you."

Because of Him, I know I'm safe.
Because of Him, my heart doesn't ache.
"You're not alone," He says to me,
Through that voice talking quietly.

The sun shines more and more each day.
Each day I learn, each day I see.
I see more blessings in disguise,
I learn of Him who is on High.

His loving grace ascends to me,
He powers all eternity.
This I know with all of my heart,
When I think of Him, I don't fall apart.

He was born in the most humble way,
So that I could live and start to say:
"I love thee, Lord, and always will.
Thy love consumes me; I am filled."

He is my light, my saving grace.
He shows me to the better days.
Forever in His debt I'll be,
The Lord of all, the King of kings.

His love consumes my every limb,
And when I'm sad, I look to Him.

Emmalee Flake

Life

Life is.. well, life. It sucks, it's hard, but it's all worth it in the end. Or is it?

I'm here to tell you that it is!!

Life stinks. It just does. So many heartaches, broken promises, and lonely nights fill the cracks and crevices of life. But, looking at the whole picture, you can't see the cracks. 

In all reality, what we will remember are the fun, joyful moments in life. I made my sister a pillowcase 4 years ago for Christmas, and she was happy to return the favor this past Christmas. Definitely a tender moment I won't forget. The friends you had in elementary and middle school may have gone away, but the fun memories won't. 

Your education is pretty much the only useful thing from 12+ years of school. Sure, you had tons of friends that will keep in touch, but the most important thing is family. After you start a family, that will be your life. The moment you get married to the love of your life, the first time you hear your child laugh, the moment you send them away to school, that's what makes life worth it. The trials and challenges you have now? Grin and bear it. God gives them to you because He knows you can handle it. 1 Corinthians 10:13. 

“Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.” 

Jeffrey R. Holland has some wise words. 

Life is worth it. I promise. 

It might not make sense now, but it will eventually. Just trust God. He knows what He's doing!

Love,
Emmalee

Welcome to my lovely, little blog!

My name is Emmalee. Welcome to my lovely, little blog. 

To start off, I love to take pictures. I aspire to be a photographer. I also love to sing. I also aspire to be a professional singer. (Not like Taylor Swift... More like Calee Reed. Look her up!) I'm the 3rd child of 5 kids, 3 brothers and 1 sister. 

Right to left: Jacob, Jordan, my dad James, my mom Eva, Me, Elizabeth, and Jonathan in the front.

My oldest brother, Jordan, is in Hungary at the moment, serving a full-time mission for the LDS church. (I run a blog for him, elderflake.blogspot.com) He's smart, studious, dedicated, and my personality twin, so my mom says. 

My other older brother, Jacob, is kind of a punk. Typical 17-year-old. (He turns 18 this weekend) He's super fun, argumentative, and witty. I love having him around, I just wish he actually was around more. 

Then there's me. A 16-year-old girl trying to be the happiest I can in the midst of this messed-up world we live in. (I still have faith in humanity) 

My younger brother, Jonathan, is optimistic, temperamental at home, overdramatic, and all-around interesting. He is also in a wheelchair. He has spina bifida. Basically, how I explain it to people, his spine is in the shape of an S, paralyzing him from the waist down. He also has fluid on his brain, I'm not totally sure how to explain it. He is a slow learner and is extremely hard to reason with. 

My youngest sister, the caboose of our family, is Elizabeth. She's feisty, overdramatic, fun, lazy, and every characteristic that describes the baby of the family. 

And I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or the Mormon church, as we're more commonly known. I have a passion for the scriptures. All of the books, not just a couple. The Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine & Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. One of my all-time favorite scriptures was an inspiration for the title of this blog, Doctrine & Covenants 6:34.

"Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail."

Now I don't want to preach to you or anything, I just want to express my feelings. 

We are all sheep. *cue the bleats*

Jesus is our shepherd.

Therefore, We are all sheep of Christ.

Because He is our master, we can do anything. 

(Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.)

In all honesty, we shouldn't be scared of anything. You've heard the saying, "The only thing you have to fear is fear itself." That's true, as long as you replace fear itself with God. (I once read in the scriptures that Fear of God is also Reverence. Interesting. (Sorry, I go on lots of tangents)) God is all-powerful and wants the best for us. It must hurt Him so bad when we choose wrongly and choose a different path than He wants. God could make us choose the right all the time, but He gave us free agency. 

It's a beautiful gift, really. 

He gives us the option to choose whatever we want. He lets us choose if we want to sleep in instead of going to school or work. He lets us choose if we want to brush our teeth or not in the morning. He lets us choose if we want to worship Him or not. He lets us choose if we want to have an attitude of gratitude or a cranky, ungrateful one. He lets us choose if we want to bully another one of His children or stand up for our friends. He lets us choose everything. 

It's our job to discern right from wrong. 

But, He has left us resources. We can ask for His help anytime. All we need to do is knock. Ask. Pray. It's simple, yet most people avoid the thought of an All-Powerful Being that we can talk to. (I don't get that. But I'll save that for another post) 

He controls when we come into this life, and when we leave. If you're ever afraid for your life, just trust God. He can help you and protect you. If it's your time to go, it's your time to go. That's something I've learned for myself over the past 6 months. 

Scared of giving a speech in front of a bunch of people? Don't be. They probably won't remember how you talk or what you say. They'll only remember how they felt in your presence. 

Afraid of dogs attacking you? Don't be. Our gracious Heavenly Father will protect you. If a dog does hurt you, it's all a part of His master plan. Trust that everything that happens to you, every little thing, is a part of His plan. You might not understand it until much later. 

Worried about how others think of you? Don't be. We are all children of loving Heavenly Parents. Don't worry about how cute you look today, no one's going to remember how you looked 1 week from now. 

What we need to worry about is the impact we leave on those we come into contact with. When I was growing up, I wanted to inspire others. I wanted to help others. I wanted to save someone's life through the words I say. I wanted to be an example to others.

Now that I've grown up some, (I've still got a lot of growing up still to do) I know that because of the choices I've made, I have inspired others. Multiple people have thanked me for changing their lives. They have thanked me for inspiring them, for being an example to them. I've become what I've always wanted to be.

Well, I'll get off my soap box. I just can't stop once I start! This is a small glimpse into my mind and what I think about every day. 

Welcome to my little, lovely blog!

Love,
Emmalee